{"id":30,"date":"2010-05-12T17:37:24","date_gmt":"2010-05-12T21:37:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/journal\/?p=30"},"modified":"2010-05-12T17:37:24","modified_gmt":"2010-05-12T21:37:24","slug":"100-words-i-wouldnt-order-that-without-an-alibi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/?p=30","title":{"rendered":"100 Words: I Wouldn&#8217;t Order That without an Alibi"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The clerk smiled as he handed Abigail a brochure. A plastic tag pinned to his chest named him &#8220;Franklin&#8221;, but Abigail suspected the man had helped himself to an old nametag from behind one of the retail shops on Market Street.<\/p>\n<p>The brochure was a single page. Tri-folded and laid out in columns and sections, it looked for all the world like a restaurant menu.<\/p>\n<p>Except, of course, it wasn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;So, um, how does this work?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Depends on what you need.&#8221; Franklin-who-probably-wasn&#8217;t-Franklin pointed to the columns in turn with fingernails as white as a French manicure. &#8220;Evaluation, sanitation, disposal&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What about&#8230; before that?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Before?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Abigail struggled for a way to say what she didn&#8217;t want to say. Not out loud. &#8220;You know&#8230; before they&#8217;re&#8230; dead?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Franklin folded the brochure and stuck it back in the plastic rack. &#8220;We don&#8217;t do the actual killing. Just the clean-up.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>With a glance over his shoulder, then another toward the plywood-covered front door, the clerk palmed a business card from his front pocket. &#8220;But this place offers certain, let&#8217;s say, extra services.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Abigail took the card. No number, no address. Just three words printed in eighteen-point Helvetica across the middle: THE MURDER STORE.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;How do I&#8211;?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You don&#8217;t. They do. When they call, tell them you&#8217;re interested in the daily special. They&#8217;ll know what you mean.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Thank you.&#8221; Abigail started to slip the business card in her purse, then changed her mind and tucked it in her front pants pocket instead.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No need to thank me,&#8221; the clerk said as he returned his attention to the boxes he&#8217;d been unpacking when Abigail walked in. &#8220;Anybody asks, I didn&#8217;t give you anything. Not even sure I remember you coming in.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The clerk smiled as he handed Abigail a brochure. A plastic tag pinned to his chest named him &#8220;Franklin&#8221;, but Abigail suspected the man had helped himself to an old nametag from behind one of the retail shops on Market Street.<\/p>\n<p>The brochure was a single page. Tri-folded and laid out in columns and sections, it looked for all the world like a restaurant menu. <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/?p=30\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_vp_format_video_url":"","_vp_image_focal_point":[],"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[7],"tags":[18,31,23,30,19,350],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4udeu-u","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andinewton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}